How to Sell a Boa Constrictor on Craigslist

Disclaimer: this was a creative writing excercise I did a while back. I do not have a boa constrictor for sale but I did post this on Craigslist for a day just to see if anyone would respond and got about 10 emails with interested people.

What started out as a present for a blind date turned into 3 years of living together until last week. It got a little “weird” when she wouldn’t let me bring him to bed with us anymore. If I had a dollar for every time I heard the old “If he sheds his skin one more time on my neck brace I’m leaving you…” speech, then I could have renewed the tags on the Blazer by now.  

Tupac has a 12x6 foot Jango Reptilian Suite enclosure… because you either go big or go home people! Hey, it is what it is..ok.. we started breeding large rats (Hairless Grey and Speckled Fruitie).

Enclosure and rats included.

Don’t be like the guy that left me stranded at the Topeka QT on Reagan and Sweitzer yesterday. has no intention of buying anything from you. Probably a bot.

I don’t get email as fast because she took the router… text is best. My loss is your gain brochachos. There is a rehoming fee. Will trade for fireworks, PS4, Luke Bryan tickets, cash or guns... Peace!

5 thoughts on “How to Sell a Boa Constrictor on Craigslist

  1. I once took a pic of an albino boa at a plant nursery of all places, beside some other uncomfortably enormous snake and posted it to IG with an intricate story of how it was sold but never was collected and how grateful I was actually because could you imagine the level of lack of concern and how the snake was better off licking its stitches in that small enclosure. Sounded like a reptilian boss defender. End of the day I had the whole reptile community following me

    Liked by 2 people

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