B-side Myself

Grew up in pastors home (check)

Went to Christian school (check)

Only missed church a handful of times in whole life (check)

Went to Bible College (check)

Married another pastor’s kid (check)

Begat 5 pastor’s kids of my own (check)

Have only ever been in ministry vocationally (check)

Finally received assurance of salvation (check)

It only took 41 years. I will never again look at assurance of salvation as the b-sides of devotion.

Once it was the blessing, now it is the Lord; Once it was the feeling, now it is His Word; Once the fruits I wanted, now the farmers land; Once I sought the healing, now the healers hand.

Once was painful trying, now just perfect trust; Once a half salvation, now the uttermost; Once just constant drifting, now my anchor cast; Once was ceaseless holding, now He holds me fast.

Once ambitious planning, now abiding prayer. Once was tear-worn tossing, now all at rest without a care; Once was what I wanted, now what Jesus says; Once was constant asking, now is ceaseless praise.

Once it was my working, His it now will be; Once I tried to use Him, now He uses me; Once His power I wanted, now the Mighty one; Once for self I labored, now for Him alone.

(Adapted Poem) V. Raymond Edmund, They Found the Secret

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